I was warping my way through the heavens
From a party in Galaxy 3
The drinks were of cosmic proportions
And I needed a double, you see
So I stopped off behind a convenient moon
And for what it is worth
The story I'll tell
of what befell
me, when I got near the Earth

O tooral ay iddle ay cosmic
Whoops! I've been spotted again!
I'm some U.F.O.
to someone below
Who thinks I'm an Alien

I was closely observed by a plumber
Out on an emergency call
I raised the eyebrows of several high-brows
Leaving the festival hall
Hey, hey!

O tooral ay iddle ay cosmic
Whoops! I've been spotted again!
I'm some U.F.O.
to someone below
Who thinks I'm an Alien

So enough of this nebulous nonsense
Cast he that is stoned without sin
For Outer Space is a sober place
To find yourself within

O tooral ay iddle ay cosmic
Whoops! I've been spotted again!
I'm some U.F.O.
to someone below
Who thinks I'm an Alien


All together!
O tooral ay iddle ay cosmic
Hey hey!
Whoops! I've been spotted again!
I'm some U.F.O.
to someone below
Who thinks I'm an Alien

Come on, K-9...

I am standing on a station platform
enjoying the evening sun
How it shines on the tracks
and on the backs
of other people waiting

In my mind's eye
I suddenly become one of the small summer birds
that are dipping and swooping so freely
under the evening sun

The trees look so different from above
Not so solid not so tall
It doesn't matter
where in the world I am
under the evening sun

I see everything around me

The castle-like people
waiting for trains
standing with faces too far from their brains

I see everything around me

All at once as if from nowhere
A train is coming to a standstill
Opening doors and I am once more
among my fellow travelers

We climb aboard
to rattle underground
avoiding each other's eyes
As I cling to a handrail above me
I suddenly realize
it doesn't matter
where in the world I am
under the evening sun

Unfinished words like these
Unfinished words like cheese and onion
Help me to write this marzipan song
Unfinished words, flying like birds
High in the sky above my deck chair

I don't like anchovies on top of strawberries and cream
Pink litmus paper shirt turning blue
Kippers and jam, custard and spam
Are only just the stuff of dreams

I can't pretend to be someone who pretends to be someone else
Or so my pretend friend tells me

Unfinished words, flying like birds
Colliding circles in the sky
Left is right and right is wrong

If I had time to myself
Willingly I'd share it
If only I could spare it

We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
Bring it, sing it, bring it home

Had I met many special friends
I would not raise my voice
If I had the choice

We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
Bring it, sing it, bring it home

What have we to talk about
Apart from the weather?
What we do together?

We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
We're going to bring it on home
Bring it, sing it, bring it home

We've arrived and to prove it we're here
We've arrived and its suddenly clear
That we're here to stay for more than a day
Maybe a week or a year
We've arrived and to prove it we're here
We've arrived and to prove it we're here
We've arrived

From thirty thousand feet above the ocean
Flyin' high in the sky
To thirty thousand fans showin' their devotion
Hear them scream and cry

We've arrived and to prove it we're here
We've arrived and its suddenly clear
That we're here to stay for more than a day
Hey! Maybe a week or a year
We've arrived and to prove it we're here
We've arrived and to prove it we're here
We've arrived

La la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la ha ha
La la la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la la

Number Two, Number Two, Number Two...

What do you do?
I don't know, but I know
I do it every day

Why do you do it?
I don't know, but I know
I do it anyway

I do what I do, indeed I do
I do what I do, every day
Indeed I do

I do what I do, indeed I do
I do what I do, every day
I do what I do, I am what I am
We are what we are, we do what we can

What do you do?
I don't know, but I know
I do it everyday

Why do you do it?
I don't know, but I know
I do it anyway

I do what I do, indeed I do
I do what I do, everyday
Indeed I do

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
(A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster!)

How, when, why? Who, what, where?
I don't know and I don't care!

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
(A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster!)

This is just a song about an oyster
Oysters are so slippery and wet
Oysters have a pearl amongst the moisture
And make the sort of noise you can't forget

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
(A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster!)

Innes much as more or less
Can you tell me? Can you guess?

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
(A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster!)

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
(A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster!)

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
(A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster!)

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?

download Single released in 1975
;

It's 'Man Bites Dog' in the papers again
Oh ho look at the news
can anybody here tell me what's going on?

'Soccer Yob Crushed In Flab Queen's Sex Den'
Oh ho look at the news
can anybody here tell me what's going on?

Who do these people think they are?
They really make me yawn
I'm tired of their silly season stuff
and their circles in the corn
Aliens have landed!
A housewife says its true!
"One of them made love to me in the back of his flying saucer all night long!
oowoo wooo woooo!"
Well I guess if I was that lonely I'd say so too

So I'll judge not like the good book says
I won't go around throwin' stones
But somehow I know that something's stupid going on
I can feel it in my bones

Nonstop broadcast vision and sound
Oh ho look at t.v.
Can anybody here tell me what's goin' on?

Movies! Sports! Soaps! Come On Down!
Oh ho look at t.v.
Can anybody here tell me what's goin' on?

Cartoon characters do their thing
I think they're really cute
They're not like those nasty men who keep people in Beirut

Well wait a minute, this is it!
This is my all time favorite hit!
A giant close up of the double flame grilled burger
with an extra thick shake and fries
So I guess it really must pay to advertise

Whatever
Since the world began
People have done both right and wrong
And I know that I'm no angel
So I might as well end this song

The outlook for today is mainly tragic,
Cloudy, dull, occasional rain and scattered magic,
But unlike those who say
They prefer the good old days,
I hardly ever feel nostalgic.
And although the intellectually agile,
Can logically prove the heart is fragile,
Drifting unawares
Through all of its affairs,
Nevertheless
Love is still the simple badge I'll proudly wear...

When does a dream begin?
Does it start with a goodnight kiss?
Is it begun when two hearts are one
When does a dream begin?

When does a dream begin?
Is it born in a moment of bliss?
Is it conceived or simply achieved
When does a dream begin?

The vision of you appears somehow
Impossible to resist
But I'm not imagining seeing you now
For who could have dreamed of this?

When does a dream begin?
When reality is dismissed?
Or does it commence when we lose all pretense?
When does a dream begin?

When does a dream begin?

DL From Monty Python's Flying Circus, 1974
DL Innes Book of Records tv show

Shoot me down in flames if I should tell a lie
Cross my heart I promise that it's true
I've been in love so many times before
but never with a girl like you

With a girl like you
to hold and be beside
With a girl like you
to fill my heart with pride and joy

With a girl like you
I know where I belong
With a girl like you
I know I can be strong, you know
I won't bring you any pain
I won't run around again
There'll be nothing to explain
with a girl like you

You know
I won't bring you any pain
I won't run around again
There'll be nothing to explain
with a girl like you

I have personally won over...

Weeeeeell
Lookin' like a muscle man
You crawled out from the swamp
Slimy, wild, you honey child
Give me your hump

You done my brain in
WHHAAHHH!
You done my brain in
Right in
And I just can't handle it
Wooo!
.You done my brain in!

Hallelujah!

Don't kiss me with your silver lip
Don't kiss me with your eye
For God's sake, gimme a break
Let me crawl away and die

You done my brain in
WHHWHHAAAGGGHHHH!
You done my brain in
Right in
And I just can't handle it
WHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!