~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Major Happy's Up and Coming Once Upon a Good Time Band
Mississippi Moon
Momma Bee
Monster Mash
Monster's Holiday
Montana Cafe
More Jam Tomorrow
Morning Song
Mother
Mr. Apollo
Mr. Eurovision
Mr. Muzak
My Little Ukulele
My New School
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Major Happy's Up and Coming Once Upon a Good Time Band
Once upon a good time on this very day
Somewhere in another universe
A band got in a van and drove for miles on end
They just this minute got here with no time to rehearse
They've not even had a sound-check but don't worry folks, it's true
Whatever Major Happy did for them they'll do for you!
Here we are once again on another one night stand
Major Happy's Up and Coming Once Upon A Good Time Band
Major Happy, Major Happy, Majah Happy, Made ya happy
Major Happy's Up and Coming Easy-Going Good Time Band
We're only here for you out there so give yourselves a great big hand
Major Happy, Major Happy, Majah Happy, Made ya Happy
So put your hands together and let's really hear it for
Major Happy's Up and Coming Once Upon a Good Time Band...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mississippi Moon
Oh Mississippi Moon
Shining like a spoon
Over Pascagoula by the sea
How wonderful you are
Much nearer than a star
But taller than a roof top or palm tree
mmmmmmm
And when I go out with my baby tonight
We'll be dancing in your silvery light
And everything is gonna be all right
Thanks to you
Yes you
Mississippi Moon
Mississippi Moo-hoo-hoon
Oh Mississippi Moon
So far from Saskatoon
Look down on my lady love and I
She is my steady date
We meet at half past eight
Gosh oh gee I'm such a lucky guy
mmmmmmm
And when I go out with my baby tonight
We'll be dancing in your silvery light
And everything is gonna be all right
Thanks to you
Thanks to you
Yes you
Mississippi Moon
Mississippi Moo...
...hoo...
...hoooon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Momma Bee
We expect no rain said the weatherman but it did
I hope it don't fall on me I said but it did
Now the sky looked blue and there's hardly a cloud in the sky
And here I stand with a rainbow in each eye
Momma Bee a friend to me, Momma Bee a friend to me
Momma Bee a friend to me, Momma Bee a friend to me
I been so alone, livin' on my own, like statue made of stone
Oh Momma Bee a friend to me, Momma Bee a friend to me
Momma Bee a friend to me, Momma Bee a friend to me
I was born to treat you right, so come on babe, hold me tight
We can boogie all through the night
Momma Bee a friend to me
Let's Boogie
Alright now,
I think love is a good idea
It hangs in my head like a chandelier
It fills my heart like a waterfall
It's good for the body and its good for the soul!
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
I don't wanna go on the loose, for you I'd stick my head in a noose
And I won't even say boo to a goose
Momma Bee a friend to me yeah
(Momma Bee)
Oh, Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
I was born to treat you right
Some, come on, babe, hold me tight
We're gonna boogie all through the night!
Momma Bee (Momma Bee) a friend to me
Let's boogie some more (oooh)
Easy now, Momma (oooh)
(Aaah, oooh)
(Aaah ah ah) Oooh, that's nice
(Aaah ah ah)
(Aaah ah ah Momma Bee)
Oh, Momma (Momma Bee)
Oh, Momma (Momma Bee)
Oh, Momma (Momma Bee)
Oh, Momma (Momma Bee)
Whooaah!
(Aaah ah ah )
(Aaah ah ah)
(Aaah ah ah)
Oooooooooh!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monster Mash
(Pickett/Capizzi)
I was working in my lab, late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
My monster from the slab began to rise
When suddenly, to my surprise
(He did the mash)
He did the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
It was a graveyard smash
(It was a smash)
It caught on in a flash
(The Monster Mash)
He did the Monster Mash
>From the Hall of Gore in the Castle East
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrode
(They did the mash)
They did the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
It was a graveyard smash
(It was a smash)
It caught on in a flash
(The Monster Mash)
They did the Monster Mash
The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolfman
Dracula and his son
The brain surgeons were all digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hound
The poodle stabbers were about to arrive
With the vocal group, The Crypt-Kicker Five
(They did the mash)
They did the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash)
It was a graveyard smash
(It was a smash)
It caught on in a flash
(The Monster Mash)
They did the Monster Mash
Come in, Morris, we always have a guest for breakfast
Come in, Horace, we always have a breast for geckfast
Igor, have you watered the brains today, Igor, Igor?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monster's Holiday
Frankenstein was the first in line
And the Wolfman came up next
Dracula was doing his stuff
Breathing down my neck
Jump back, make tracks, here comes the Hunchback
Better get out of his way
Fee fee fi fi fo fo fum
It was a Monster's Holiday
Well, I hopped into bed
And covered up my head
Said, "I'm going to get a good night's sleep"
I got woken up
About twelve o'clock
And I jumped right to my feet
There were gremlins, and goblins
Dragons, and zombies
Oh, what an awful sight
I said, "My friend, you may get me
But brother, let me tell you
It's going to be after the fight."
Frankenstein was the first in line
And the Wolfman came up next
Dracula was doing his stuff
Breathing down my neck
Jump back, make tracks, here comes the Hunchback
Better get out of his way
Fee fee fi fi fo fo fum
It was a Monster's Holiday
Uncle Bill, well, he took ill
And they sent for me to come
Well, I had to pass by the old graveyard
So I went on the run
There was screaming and moaning, waving and groaning
Scary as a mummy's curse
I said, "My friend, you may get me,
But brother, let me tell you,
You're going to have to catch me first."
Frankenstein was the first in line
And the Wolfman came up next
Dracula was doing his stuff
Breathing down my neck
Jump back, make tracks, here comes the Hunchback
Better get out of his way
Fee fee fi fi fo fo fum
It was a Monster's Holiday
Fee fee fi fi fo fo fum
It was a Monster's Holiday
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Montana Cafe
God's own country tall in the saddle on a billboard
Cowboy smoking man-sized tipped cigarette
Someone with a push chair by the launderette
Early closing day
And there's nowhere to go but the Montana Cafe
Supermarket trolley by a keep-left sign
On a traffic island double yellow line
Screwed up school kids' bubblegum wrappers at the bus stop
Special offer coupons up to three pence off
Someone on the corner with a nasty cough
Early closing day
And there's nowhere to go but the Montana Cafe
mmmm mmm, mmmm mmm
mmmm mmm, mmmm mmm
Nympho girls and erotica showing at the Roxy
Double-X feature late show Saturday night
Someone at the crossing looking left and right
Early closing day
And there's nowhere to go but the Montana Cafe
Continental lorry
going on its way
Aerosol graffiti
'City Rule OK'...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Jam Tomorrow
More jam tomorrow
Jam for you and me
More jam tomorrow
Just you wait and see
Today's not just any other day
Soon it will be just like yesterday
With more jam tomorrow
and every other day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morning Song
Open your eyes, it is morning
The birds have long since started their song
Open your eyes, it is morning
Morning has come to us all
The world has turned, the world has turned
See everything is all around us
Open your eyes, it is morning
Morning has come to us all
Open your eyes, it is morning
The birds have long since started their song
Open your eyes, it is morning
Morning has come to us all
The world has turned, the world has turned
See everything is all around us
Open your eyes, it is morning
Morning has come to us all
Open your eyes, it is morning
Open your eyes, it is morning
Open your eyes, it is morning
Open your eyes, it is morning
Open your eyes, it is morning
Open your eyes, it is morning
Open your eyes it is morning
Open your eyes, it is morning
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mother
Here's to the happiest days of my life
Spent in the arms of another man's wife
My mother
Oh mother, mother
You're more than just the old man's little woman
Mother, mother
You're the one that I hold dear
Who else could make your bed and tidy up your room
And wash your dirty socks out in between?
Who else, in case you ever got run over,
Would make certain that your underpants were clean?
Oh mother, mother
You're more than just the apple of my eye
You mean the world to me and though I'm far across the sea
I'll come home again to you by and by
Mother, mother
You're more than just the old man's little woman
Mother, mother
You're the one that I hold dear
Who else could make your bed and tidy up your room
And wash your dirty socks out in between?
Who else, in case you ever got run over,
Would make certain that your underpants were clean?
Oh mother, mother
You're more than just the apple of my eye
You mean the world to me and though I'm far across the sea
I'll come home again to you by and by
(by and by)
There is no other
Quite like a mother
Except of course another mother
Mother, I'll come home to you again by and by
(by and by)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. Apollo (Stanshall/Innes)
I have seen Mr. Apollo
Uproot trees with his bare hands
I have seen Mr. Apollo's
Body building plans
He's the strongest man
The world has ever seen
And if you take his courses
He'll make you big and rough
Oh! And you can beat up bullies 'til they cry
"Oh lah! Oh, crikey! Let go, you rotter! Don't punish me!"
When you're tough, you're very fit
Your voice is rough, it sounds like grit
You are so strong, and proud of it
Thanks to Mr. Apollo
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
He's the greatest benefactor of Mankind
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
That a healthy body makes a healthy mind
You know! You know he's the
Strongest man
The world has ever seen
And if you take his courses
He'll make you big and rough
Uh huh, and uh, ha, you can kick the sand
right
back, in their faces! Kick! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
When you're tough, you're very fit
Your voice is rough, it sounds like grit
You are so strong, and proud of it
Thanks to Mr. Apollo
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
He's the greatest benefactor of Mankind
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
That a healthy body makes a healthy mind
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
He's the greatest benefactor of Mankind
Oh, yeah!
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
That a healthy body makes a healthy mind
He can do it for you!
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
He's the greatest benefactor of Mankind
[Image]
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
That a healthy body (oooh!) makes a healthy mind
Follow Mr. Apollo
(He can do it for you!)
Everybody knows
He's the greatest benefactor of Mankind
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
That a healthy body makes a healthy mind
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows
He's the greatest benefactor of Mankind
Follow...
Yes, just give me ten years of your life, and I'll
trade in that puny flab for living muscle..
Physique you deserve!
Strong!
Chest and shoulders to hold your shirt!
Five years ago, I was a four stone apology
Today, I am two separate gorillas
No tiresome exercises, no tricks,
no unpleasant bending, Wrestle poodles and win!
Play beach ball! Shave your legs! Lope over walls!
Tease people! Brush them aside as though they were matchsticks!
Impress your friends!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. Eurovision
Hey Mister Eurovision song contest man
Would you like to hear my song?
Bing Bang Bong
Inky Pinky Parlez-Vous
Wunderbar, oo-la-la
Ole!
Bom ba-tom bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom bom ba
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom ba
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom bom ba
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bum ba
This is my song,
Yodel-ay-ee-dhee
What a lot of weather
We've been having lately!
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom bom pa
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom pa
HEY Mister Eurovision song contest man
Would you like to hear my song
a-Bing Bang Bong!
Inky Pinky Parlez-Vous
Wunderbar, oo-la-la
Ole!
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom pa-dam bom bom pa
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom pa
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom bom pa
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bum pa
Thees ees my song,
Yodel-ay-ee-tee
What a lot of weather
We've been having lately!
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom pa-dam bom bom ba
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom pa
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bom bom pa
Bom ba-dum bom bom
Bom ba-dam bum ba
Mr. Eurovision song contest man!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. Muzak
I got nothing to sing about
Nothing at all
Tra la la la la la
Wall to wall
Shooby dooby, come what may
I play it for you both night and day
Time and motion
Shifting sands
Empty minds and busy hands
You can find me anywhere
The food of love is in the air
Moderato con espressione
Una paloma
Macaroni
Forget about your point of view
The choice is up to me, not you
Canteen office, factory floor
Hotel bar, department store
Elevator, lavatory
There is no escaping me
I got nothing to sing about
Nothing at all
Tra la la la la la
Wall to wall
Shooby dooby, come what may
I play it for you both night and day
Moderato con espressione
Una paloma
Macaroni
Forget about your point of view
The choice is up to me
Not you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Little Ukulele
All the world's a stage they say
And I've seen many things
Standing with my little ukulele in the wings
I've seen bearded ladies
And strong men with iron bars
I've seen cheeky chorus girls
Hob-nobbing with the stars
Yes all the world's a stage they say
And I've seen many things
Standing with my little ukulele in the wings
Once a leading lady
Was clearly in distress
She asked if I could help her
With the fasteners on her dress
You should have seen the outcome
I almost broke me strings
Standing with my little ukulele in the wings
I've seen song and dance men
Being heckled by cat-calls
And a buxom bareback rider
Make a juggler drop his clubs
Yes all the world's a stage
And you won't believe the things
I've seen standing with my little
Standing with my little
Standing with my little ukulele in the wings
Weh-heh-heh-hell standing-a
With my little
Ukulele
in the wings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My New School
They say school days are the happiest of your life
But I've never seen or been in so much strife
The teacher's like a bear with three sore heads
And if he had a gun we'd all be dead
My new school
I've got no friends at all
In my new school
Everyone's so tall
In my new school
I really hate it here
In my new school
I can't see why anyone should like it here
Even a dinosaur would live in fear
It's got all the charm of a video nasty
I've never been anywhere so ghastly
My new school
They burn you at the stake here
My new school
I've had all I can take from
My new school
I really hate it here
In my new school
My new school
Can't spend another day here
My new school
I've got to get away from
My new school
Cause I really hate it here
In my new school
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Main Indexi | By Title | By 1st Line | Bonzo Dog Band | Grimms/ World | RWT/Rutles/Python | Solo
A | B | C | D | E-F | G | H | I | J-K | L | M | N | O-P | Q-R | S | T | U-W-Y