~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe Public
Johnny Cash
Joke Shop Man
Jollity Farm
Just Another Story
Just A Jester
Keeping Watch
Keep On Rockin'
Kenny and Liza
Keynsham
King of Scurf
Knicker Elastic King (Archaeology)
Knicker Elastic King (Off The Record)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe Public
My name is Joe Public, I'm sure you all know me
Sometimes they call me the man in the street but I don't mind
I've got my place in society
I've got my feet on the ground
I've got my pride and my prejudices
No one can push me around
My name is Joe Public, I'm sure you all know me
Sometimes they call me the proletariat but I don't mind
They know me for my common sense
They know they can't please all of me
They know I can't be fooled all of the time
I am what I am and I'm happy to be
Joe Public, that's me, Joe Public, that's me
ÔCause I put my faith in the powers that be
Joe Public, that's me
My name is Joe Public, I'm sure you all know me
Sometimes they call me the great unwashed but I don't mind
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names can never hurt me
I've got my pride and my prejudices
I am what I am, and I'm happy to be
Joe Public, that's me
Joe Public, that's me (that's me)
Joe Public, that's me (that's me)
Joe Public (Joe Public) that's me (that's me)
I put my faith in the powers that be
Joe Public, that's me
I put my faith in the powers that be
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
I put my faith in the powers that be
(I'm sure you all know me)
(I'm sure you all know me)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Johnny Cash (Innes/Idle)
I hear the teacups rattle
Hear the mighty Hoover roar
I'm always washin' dishes
And polishin' the floor
I'm stuck in Mrs. Fletcher's
Doin' time
Yeah I'm stuck in Mrs. Fletcher's
For a while
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joke Shop Man
The Joke Shop Man has lots of gags
Like plastic ears, exploding fags
A million laughs to give your friends a treat
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
The Joke Shop Man has lots of gags
He wraps them up in paper bags
Like sneezing powder, snakes and rubber feet
Joke Shop Man, help me if you can
It's all so very hard to understand
Joke Shop Man, make me Desperate Dan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jollity Farm
(Sarony)
There's a farm called Misery
But of that, we'll have none
Because we know of one
That's always lots of fun
(Ha! Ha!)
And this one's name is Jollity
Believe me folks, it's great
For everything sings out to us
As we go through the gate
All the little pigs, they grunt and howl
The cats meow
The dogs bow wow
Everybody makes a row
Down on Jollity Farm
All the little pigs, they grunt and howl
(Grunt! Howl! Grunt! Howl!)
The cats meow
(Me-ow! Me-ow!)
The dogs bow wow
(Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!)
Everybody makes a row
Down on Jollity Farm
All the little birds go tweet tweet tweet
The lambs all bleat
(Baaaah!)
And shake their feet
Everything's a perfect treat
Down on Jollity Farm
Regular is habit
The cocks begin to crow
(Cock-a-doodle-doo)
And the old buck rabbit
Sings stuff it up your jumper!
Vo doh dee oh
All the little ducks go quack quack quack
The cows all moo
The bull does, too
Everyone says how do you do?
Down on Jollity Farm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just Another Story
Take any page from a book
Take a good look
What do you see?
Not just the words
It's like a thousand little people
Somebody help me with this story
Why does it always end the same?
Eveybody feeling sorry
Everybody saying, "It's a shame."
And as for those who say, "Why worry?
It's just a story anyway."
But it's just another story
Because it happened far away
Take the sound of a young mother, crying
The little baby in her arms slowly dying
It's like a thousand violin strings
Somebody help me with this story
Why does it always end the same?
Everybody feeling sorry
Everybody saying, "It's a shame."
And as for those who say, "Why worry?"
Why should they worry anyway?
When it's just another story
Just another story
Just another story
Because it happened far away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just A Jester
I'm just a jester
Just a silly man
I like to be as silly as I can
I wear a funny hat
As anyone can see
But nobody laughs at me
Nobody laughs
Nobody laughs
Nobody laughs at me
I'm just a jester
Just a fool at heart
Jesting is my science, jesting is my art
Jesting is my job
On that they all agree
But nobody laughs at me
(No no!)
Nobody laughs
(No no!)
Nobody laughs
(No no!)
Nobody laughs at me
(No no!)
(No no!)
Nobody laughs
(No no!)
Nobody laughs
Nobody laughs at me
See me hop! See me skip!
Make a face! Fall down!
I'm mad! I'll do anything
But nobody laughs
Not a giggle, not a squeak
And it's all because of the king
(It's all because of the king
Shhh!
I'm just a jester
Laughter is my food
I try very hard, but no one's in the mood
Just one, one little smile
Would end my misery
But nobody laughs at me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keeping Watch
I am keeping watch on you
You are keeping watch on me
I am keeping watch on you
And you are keeping watch on me
Let us keep on keeping watch
Keeping watch on us
Let us keep on keeping watch
Keeping watch on us
All together now I am keeping watch on you
I am keeping watch on you
You are keeping watch on me
You are keeping watch on me
I am keeping watch on you
I am keeping watch on you
And you are keeping watch on me
And you are keeping watch on me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep On Rockin'
Boogie Woogie Mama dancin' to the beat
Shakin' everything and lookin' so sweet
I loosen up my collar, I'm comin' to a boil
You can call me Popeye, but she'sno Olive Oyl
But all she said to me
Was "If you like what you see...
You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long."
Workin' up a fever, I got the butterflies
"Take it easy, honey, don't you know about guys?
My hearts a-beatin', beatin' like a drum
you're chewin' me up like a stick a gum"
But all she said to me
was, "If you like what you see...
You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.
You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long!"
Jumpin' and a jivin', boppin to the riff
Said, "Come on babe, I'm gettin' kinda stiff
A wind in my head and a buzzin' in my ear
One last dance and let's get outta here!"
But all she said to me
Was, "If you like what you see...
You gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.
Ya gotta keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long.
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
All night long."
(Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin' all night long)
(Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin' all night long)
(Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin'
Keep on rockin' all night...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kenny and Liza
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Runaway lovers taking their chances
Leaving their troubles behind
Kenny and Liza laugh at each other
Lovers are two of a kind
Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, running away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Watching their heads get bigger and smaller
Foolin' around with a spoon
Kenny and Liza sit by a jukebox
Making a meal of a tune
Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, runnin' away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Passing the time with finger and thumb made
Flavourless gum stalactites
Kenny and Liza look on the bright side
Under the neon lights
Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, runnin' away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway
Kenny and Liza going together
Leaving their hometown, runnin' away
Kenny and Liza, two in the morning
Spending the night on the motorway
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
Wheels rollin' along
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keynsham
Lipstickgleam
Hexachloraphene
Cling cling the ring
Clang clang she sang
It's tragic magic
There are no coincidences
But sometimes the pattern is more obvious
Lipstickgleam
Hexachloraphene
Cling cling the ring
Clang clang she sang
It's tragic magic
There are no coincidences
But sometimes the pattern is more obvious
Keynsham. Tell me more about Keynsham.
I don't want to talk about it.
I can't think.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
King of Scurf
(scratch scratch scratch)
I had alot of acne and pimples (pop pop)
I had to stay at home
Eventually no one came near me
(Eeeew! Eeoogh!)
All I had was my comb
And when it came to girls
The other guys seemed to have all the luck
(Why, hello, honey, like to come to the high school hop tonight, huh?
Wha hy, you little chickadee!)
Until one day, I heard them say
(His comb is full of muck!)
(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Hmm hmm hmm
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Ooo ooo oooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)
Only last Saturday
We had a scene at our local pub
(Yah, yiy yiy yiy, that was fantastic!)
Everybody was jumpin' and jivin'
(Jump! Oooo!)
Some were doin' the Bop
(Bop shoo waddy waddy)
Oh, look what came over there!
I was shooping my head
The dandruff spread
Wow! Look at him go!
Like leaves blowin' off of the trees
Million teeny boppers and long haired moppers
In scurf right up to their knees
I can feel it in my sneakers!
(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oool ooo ooo ooo ooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oooo hooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh
King of Scurfers, yeah!
At the beach one day
A muscle man kicked some sand in my face
(Ha ha ha ha ha)
So I whipped out my comb and scratched my dome
And soon put him back in his place
That's better!
You see, the top of my head
Was evenly spread
Like the snow on top of the Alps (whoosh!)
The scurfin' kids really flipped their lids
When they saw the state of my scalp
Wow! The perfect amount!
(Now he's the King of Scurf)
They know me everywhere
(King of Scurf)
I got filthy hair
(He's got dandruff)
More'n my share
I'm the King of Scurfers, yeah!
Guess I'll just have to start from scratch
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Ooo ooo ooo oooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Woo oooo oooo oooo
King of Scurfers, yeah!
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Oh oh oh oh wah aaaah
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Aah aah aah aaaah aah
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
The King of Scurf
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Wah aah aah aah aah
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Whoa oh oh aah aaah
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Wah aah aah aaahahaa
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo
(Ooooo, scurfing, yeah)
Ooo ooo ooo oooo
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
Whoah oaah wah aah
(King of Scurfers, yeah!)
(Oooo, scurfing, yeah)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Knicker Elastic King(Archaeology)
He used to travel in bath cubes
Until the slump came
Faced with redundancy he turned his mind to other things
And soon became a household name
Knicker elastic
Everybody used it
Knicker elastic
Nobody refused it
Knicker Elastic King, the Knicker Elastic King
A self-made man with a business to run
and something to sell to everyone
The Knicker Elastic King
He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich
Were green with envy (ahhh ahhh)
The darling of the Stock Exchange
Made the New Year's Honours List
And won the Queen's Award to Industry
Knicker Elastic
Essence of propriety
Knicker Elastic
Upholder of society
The Knicker Elastic King,
Ooo la la
His rubber business kept expanding
But then disaster (Ee bah gum!)
The price of raw materials
Coupled with inflation
Squeezed his global holdings
His liquid assets bottomed out
And shrunk his retail outlet
... operation
And that's the story of the
Knicker Elastic King (and market forces)
The Knicker Elastic King ('horses for courses')
A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
Knicker Elastic King
Ooo la la
The Knicker Elastic King
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Knicker Elastic King (Off The Record)
He used to travel in bath cubes
Until the slump came
Ooooo hooo
And faced with redundancy he turned his mind to other things
And that is how he made his name
He's the Knicker Elastic King
Knicker Elastic King
A self-made man with a business to run
Something to sell to everyone
Knicker Elastic King
Ooo la la
Knicker Elastic - everybody used it
Knicker Elastic - nobody refused it
Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King
He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich
Were green with envy
The darling of the Stock Exchange
Made the New Year's Honours List
And won the Queen's Award to Industry
Knicker Elastic - essence of propriety
Knicker Elastic - upholder of society
Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King
His rubber business kept expanding
But then disaster
Ooo hoo
The price of raw material
Coupled with inflation
Brought about his downfall
The bottom fell right out of the market
And that's the story of
The Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King
A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
Knicker Elastic King
ooo la-la
The Knicker Elastic King
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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