Happy Ending

Once upon a good time
there lived a love so true
In the kingdom of happiness
in a castle made for two
Where dreams come true
dreams come true
And I know they do
Every time I look at you

Love is a happy ending
Love is a happy ending
From now on and ever after
I'm gonna share my love and laughter with you

Some say this is a wicked world
Loneliness is everywhere
Until love comes along on a noble steed
And slays the dragon of despair

Yeah, dreams come true
Dreams come true
And I know they do
Every time I look at you

Love is a happy ending
Love is a happy ending
From now on and ever after
I'm gonna share my love and laughter with you

Love is a happy ending
Love is a happy ending
Love is a happy ending
Love is a happy ending
Love is a happy ending
Love's happy ending
Love's happy ending
Love's happy ending
Love's happy ending

Happy The Way We Are

Our noses may be big, and stick out very far
But who gives a fig?
We're happy the way we are

Our hooters may be vast
So what? Hip, hip, hoorah!
At long, long last
We're happy the way we are

Happy the way we are
Happy the way we are
Tra la lala
We're happy the way we are

Our nasal attributes may be irregular
But hooter to hoot
We're happy the way we are

Happy the way we are
Happy the way we are
Tra la lala
We're happy the way we are

We can hold our heads up high
Let people stop and stare
We can watch the world go by
With our noses in the air

No one needs to inform us
We know our trunks are enormous
Who could possibly disagree?
This is the way they're meant to be
(This is the way they're meant to be!!!)

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're
so happeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
we aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!

Happy the way we are
Happy the way we are
Tra la lala
We're happy the way we are

Happy the way we are
Happy the way we are
Tra la lala
We're happy the way we are

Our snoutses may be large
But thank your lucky star
The air is free of charge
We're happy the way we are

Happy the way we are
Happy the way we are
Tra la lala
We're happy the way we are

Happy the way we are!
Happy the way we are!
Happy the way we are!
Happy the way we are!

Happy the way we are
Happy the way we are
Tra la lala
We're happy the way we are

Happy the way we are
Happy the way we are
Tra la lala
We're happy the way we are

Hello Mabel

You know, people may say that it will never do
But I can't help the way I feel when I'm with you

Hello Mabel, are you able to come out today?
It's a lovely day, won't you come and stay?
Hello Mabel, if you're able, slip out on your own
Leave your chaperone so we can be alone

People may say that it will never do
But I can't help the way...

Hello Mabel, if you're able say you'll come please do
For an hour or two
You know I love you

Mmm.. that's nice

Hello Mabel!
Hiya, fellas

People may say it will never do
But I can't help the way
I feel when I'm walking out with you

Hello Mabel, if you're able say you'll come please do
For an hour or two
You know I love you
Shoodela bee,
Shoodela wasp
Shoodela wah wah wah!

 

(This is not Yvonne)

Here We Go Again

We've been through this movie before
I know it inside out
From the closeups at the start
To the final helicopter shot
'copter shot
'copter shot
'copter shot

Aah-yah
here we go again my love
aah-yaah,
here we go again my love

We used to queue up in the rain
We didn't feel the cold
Then in the back row of the stalls
We played the couple on the screen
on the screen
on the screen
on the screen

Aah-yah
here we go again my love
aah-yaah,
here we go again my love

You look at me with starry eyes
I hold you in my arms
It's oh so good to be with you
Who wants to make it big in Hollywood
Hollywood
Hollywood
Hollywood

Aah-yah
here we go again my love
aah-yaah,
here we go again my love

Aah-yah
here we go again my love
aah-yaah,
here we go again my love

Aah-yah
here we go again my love
aah-yaah,
here we go again my love

Hero Of The Motorway

Radio gale warning
Biscay Finisterre
Rock on Mallin Hebrides
Just see if I care
Drivin' all night
With my headlights on
Just thinking of you
And your feminine form
So soft and warm

Look at all the tail lights
No wonder I see red
Check my rear view mirror
And watch the road ahead

Drivin' all night
With my headlights on
Just thinking of you
And youf feminine form
So soft and warm

I am a hero of the motorway
Flashing my lights, trying to get by
Another hero of the motorway
Heading for the fast lane in the sky

Think I'm goin' crazy
I know I'm miles awy
Such a crazy mixed up world, little darling
At the end of the day

Drivin' all night
With my headlights on
Just thinking of you
And your feminine form
So soft and warm
Just thinking of you
And your feminine form
So soft and warm

I am a hero of the motorway
Flashing my lights, trying to get by
Another hero of the motorway
Heading for the fast lane in the sky

Hey Mister!

When you woke up this morning
did you feel all alone?
Did you get a grip on yourself?
Were you just flesh and bone?
Did you long for the centerfold spread
of some bimbo girl magazine
to appear by your side
and physically question your manhood
and make you come clean?

Hey!
Hey mister!
All you need is a little rock and roll, rock and roll, rock and roll

When you woke up this morning
did you feel like hell?
Did you think that some Jehovah's Witness
was a-ringing your bell?
Did you think you were in Babylon?
Did you take a good look around?
Or did you stick your head out the window
and find you could not make a sound?

Hey!
Hey mister!
All you need is a little rock and roll, rock and roll, rock and roll

When you woke up this morning
did you get up and go?
Did you take a good look at yourself in the mirror
and go on with the show?
Did you picture yourself
as a Leonardo Da Vinci with wrinkles and curls
Or did you see just another piece of modern art
Like "The Peppermint Tower in Praise of Greedy Little Girls"?

Hey!
Hey mister!
All you need is a little rock and roll, rock and roll, rock and roll

I got a soddin' cramp in me pinkie!!

Ad Parody by Adbusters (http://www.adbusters.org)

Hobgoblins

We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins, goblins, goblins!!!
So don't do anything to annoy us!
Hocus pocus!
We are the jokers
              We make sure...

We make sure when you drop your toast
It's butter-side down and on the most
      dirty part of the floor
            WE MAKE SURE!

We make sure, we make sure,
We make sure if you've lost your key there's no one in
We make sure, we make sure
When you've only got bare feet you stand on a pin

We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins, goblins, goblins!!!
So don't do anything to annoy us!

Hocus pocus!
We are the jokers
              We make sure...

We make sure when you wash your hair
The shampoo stings and the towel's not where
      it was the moment before
            WE MAKE SURE!

We make sure, we make sure
If anything should go right then don't blame us
We make sure, we make sure
We make sure when you're late you're going to miss the bus
                    ...but only just

We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!
We're the hob hob hob hob hob hob
Goblins!

Children's Halloween record version   download
East of the Moon tv show version download

Hold My Hand

I'm not the kind of guy who likes to play
Big Brother
But I've just seen your date outside is with
Another
I saw you both come in
And clearly, you're not meant for him, so
Please, please, hold my hand

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home

I want to tell you I'm in love with you
Completely
I'd like to take you far away from here
Discreetly
Our love was meant to be
And darling, it's a certainty, oh
Please, please, hold my hand

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home

La la la la la!

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home

Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my haaand, yeah, ooo oo
Hold my hand and I'll see you home          

Home sweet hole in the ground
Home sweet hole in the ground
Home sweet hole in the ground
Six foot under, safe and sound
Home sweet hole in the ground

Ain't got no doorbell you can ring
Ain't got no doorbell you can ring
If you go and trip that button
You'll surely wind up dead as mutton
Ain't got no doorbell you can ring

In my home sweet hole in the ground
Home sweet hole in the ground
Home sweet hole in the ground
Six foot under, safe and sound
Home sweet hole in the ground

Ain't got no mod con luxuries
Ain't got not mod con luxuries
But I got my own sweet bucketful
Of catatonic chemicals

In my home sweet hole in the ground
In my home sweet hole in the ground
Home sweet hole in the ground
Six foot under, safe and sound
Home sweet hole in the ground
Got my transistor radio
Got my transistor radio
I got it plugged into my ear
In case they ever sound "all clear"
Got my transistor radio

In my home sweet hole in the ground
Home sweet hole in the ground
Home sweet hole in the ground
Six foot under, safe and sound
Home sweet hole in the ground
God bless my home sweet hole in the ground!

How Could You?
                    (Stoop Solo)

I see you in my dreams,
how could you?
Go to such extremes,
How could you?
I whispered in your ear,
How could you?
And in the garden shed a tear,
You took all my love
I'm like a hand without a glove.
You promised to be true,
I'm like a foot without a shoe.
HOW COULD YOU BE
SO CRUEL TO ME?
I NEVER KNEW
WHAT YOU COULD DO
I hear those words again
How could you?
I'm an ink without a pen,
How could you?
I thought I knew you well,
How could you?
I'm a bike without a bell.
 I can't mend this broken heart,
  I'm a jam without a tart.
   Yes, you took all of me,
    I'm a pod without a pea.
     I'm a fish without a fin,
      I'm a pink without a gin,
        I'm a prick without a pin,
               HOW COULD YOU?

: We have never heard this song in any way, only seen the lyrics written out in the Rutland Dirty Weekend Book (I think). So for all we know this doesn't even have a tune.

Thanks to Bert van der Leije for contributing this!

One man in his car drivin' to the city
One man in his car drivin' to the city
See him go from place to place
Taking part in the whole human race

One man in his car power at his feet
One man in his car up and down the street
See him go from place to place
Taking part in the whole human race

So twinkle little star, shining in the everlasting night
Sometimes you seem so wi-y-ise
Sometimes you're not so bright
Oh no nononono...

One man in his car drivin' to the city
One man in his car really sittin' pretty
As if to show it's no disgrace
To be a part of the whole human race

The world is full of hunger, so many mouths to feed
The world is full of hunger, jealousy and greed
So tally ho, there's no time to waste
When you're a part of the whole human race

So twinkle little star, shining in the everlasting night
Sometimes you seem so wi-y-ise
Sometimes you're not so bright
Oh no nononono...

One-man Innes car...

Humanoid Boogie

Hi there!
Some people say it with flowers,
Some people say it at Lloyds,
But you don't find many tryin' to say it with humanoids

Well, the Humanoid Boogie's got the humanoid hip-types
Jumpin' and-a jivin'
Burnin' out their energy cells like an infrared hot dog
Motorbike heart beats flutter to the stutter
Of the humanoid heart-throb sobbin' out a tickertape tune
By the light of the moon
Bleep bleep keep rockin' daddy, do the stroll
Because the Humanoid Boogie's full of humanoid rock and roll

Mad Dan Sugar Man and Henrietta Holocaust
Introduce to you what's new on the humanoid scene
It's a wow, it's a scream
Knick knack paddywack, give a dog a humanoid
Let's have fun, gonna get a personality cell
If all goes well
Bleep bleep keep rockin' daddy, catch the power!
Because the Humanoid Boogie's been requested on Two-way Humanoid Hour

Oh bay-bee!

Some people say it with flowers, some people say it at Lloyds
But you don't find many tryin' to say it with humanoids

(Aaah aaah aaah aaah)

Well,
The Humanoid Boogie's gonna get to number one in the
Char char char char charts voted by the
People eople eople eople eople eople of the record-buying publicoid
Programmed to a multiple response ratio
It's a wow, it's a gas, it's a Wall Street Crash
Like cigar ash
Bleep bleep keep rockin' daddy, do the stroll!!!
Because the Humanoid Boogie's full of humanoid rock and roll!!!

Oh yeahhhhh!!!

Hush

Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Half the world away
People are in bed
Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Think of all the people
With dreams inside their heads

No one knows how long a dream is meant to last
Are they dreaming of the future
Or dreaming of the past?

So, hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Half a world away
It's the middle of the night
Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Making so much noise is really impolite

Think of other people no matter what you do
And maybe tomorrow
They will think of you

So, hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Half the world away
People are in bed
Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Think of all the people
With dreams inside their heads

Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping
Sleeping, sleeping
Sleeping, sleeping...